As most of you know, I've never had a boyfriend, or a shift or whatever. Which, of course, leads me to hate February 14th. The only reason I do like it, is that it's four days to my birthday on Feb 14th (mine being the 18th). But anyway, everyone asks me, how can you have gone 17 years without a shift or a guy or whatever? Here is why.
I'm all for love, I'm cool with it like. I think that most lovey dovey stuff is adorable (I hate the word cute, it is putrid) but I just don't have the state of mind for that crap. It sounds weird, I know. But it's true.
I do whatever the hell I want and not give two shits what people think of me. Which is obvious to every single person that has any recollection of who I am. I'm an obsessive weirdo who doesn't brush her hair and talks gibberish most of the time. I don't drink or smoke or whatever. I've a committed relationship with my laptop (Jasper) and to twitter. I'm vain, I'm fond of myself. And for some reason, I feel the need to push guys away. It's happened to the two people who've ever shown interest in me; although, I was right to as one is a dickhead and I'm not too fond of the other either but that's off the point.
I don't know why I do it. Is it because I like myself too much and subconsciously feel that I can do better (I hope this isn't the case)? Am I subconsciously scared of getting hurt or just the fear of a first shift in general? Am I just avoiding it to not get the slags from the girls (it's banter I promise you)? I'll tell you something. I don't fucking know.
This seems to have turned into a pity post, but I know that if people were me they would slightly feel the same. How are you supposed to celebrate a day of being in love with someone when the only person you're in love with is in a famous boyband? Hahahahaha (HI NATTY ILY).
Returning to why I do not have the state of mine for a boyfriend, maybe because I've been living for myself for 17 years, I don't want to suddenly make room for some guy to take over it. That sounds very submissive (lol fanfic refrence) and "men rule the world"-ish but I am too myself for a guy to be there too.
Morals of the story are:
1. I'm a creep.
2. I don't know why I've never met anyone. Don't keep asking me.
3. I will most likely end up forever alone.
4. I like boys in boybands and that's it. For the moment.
5. I hate Valentine's day.
:) xoxo
